Since I've been unemployed I've done a fantastic job of inching ye grand ol' IQ score into the "below average" bracket.
Granted I wasn't too far from it when I was putting on my work pants, but with booze until 6 a.m., breakfast at 1 p.m., and absolutely no reason to see the sun, I've cemented a place in the "just above imbecile" range.
Funny how that works.
I mean I still haven't lost my razor-sharp problem solving skills.
Why, just this morning when I attempted to brew coffee it only took me 20 minutes to realize the pot wasn't plugged in.
Smart girl.
Anyway, one element that isn't helping my deteriating IQ is daytime television.
Today I watched The View.
Whenever I watch this show I feel like I'm trapped at a Sunday brunch with a friend of a friend who's part of some lame meet-up group I was bullied into attending. It's like everyone's had too many mimosas but I forgot my ID so I'm trying to keep up with massive amount of coffee, but alas, caffeine is no match for the mighty champagne.
It's rare anyone ever finishes a complete thought. Topics are tossed off, ideas run into one another like monster truck mash ups, conversations follow along a windy path, get lost somewhere, bumble around, and eventually fall into ditch.
Internet porn and Eva Longoria's new haircut glistened on the round table this a.m.
Bawa Wawa decided Eva's new cut was offensive, Whoopi thought it was OK, my eyes crusted shut, but soon shirked open by Whoopi's impersonation of a....vibrator?
Brought on by the Peter Cook fiasco (who was caught with a $3,000 a month porn habit) the round table debated the heady (no pun intended) existential question: Is it OK for your spouse to masturbate to Internet porn?
THE JURORS
Elisabeth: nay. Orgasm is a sacred experience and my annoying, blond presence should be enough to ward off the evil Jenna Jameson.
Sherri: nay. I don't even masturbate. And porn is a gateway to foreign pun.
Joy: neutral. Better than "putang" on the side. Touche.
Whoopi: yay.
and
Bawa? "What if you and your husband watching porn together?"
Oh, Bawa. Talk about problem solving. Something tells me the lady speaks from experience.....
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