Ivanka, Ivanka, Ivanka. The large-breasted, robotic daughter of The Donald wants to be a writer. She'd like a prompt 2 million advance on a book she has no idea what she wants it to be about. Awesome. I guess me and Vank do have something in common.
NO! Ed Westwick and Chace Crawford were the cutest twink couple this side of Hell's Kitchen. No, no, no! Supposedly, Westwick got cold feet, snatched a beard, made out with her and left Lit Bar holding hands with the fag hag on Wednesday. But not before winking at a "hot brunette." He probably just liked her shoes and bag.
I will camp out at my computer and hit "refresh" over and over again on People.com this Sunday at 7 p.m. My measly unsubstantial life will not be complete until I see the shriveled faces of Brangelina's twins. It's the little things in life. Well, $15 million dollar little things.
Mr. Mayer goes to Washington. Well, Los Angeles City Council to be exact, but he still whipped out the three syllable, money words when proposing the paparazzi have more restrictions. "I'm asking you to regulate it, officialize it, tax it, legitimize it," Mayer said, even pitching an idea that paparazzi paste a "big white P on a yellow license plate [that] says the driver works for an accredited photo agency."
It's tough banging Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Aniston. Can't a man date up in order to boost his record sales in peace?
Not surprisingly, the L.A.'s police chief thinks Mayer's plan is a bit much, and has noticed a shift in tides since Britney put her panties on and Lindsay started rubbing coochie cats with Samantha Ronson: "If you notice, since Britney started wearing clothes and behaving; Paris is out of town not bothering anybody anymore, thank God; and evidently, Lindsay Lohan has gone gay, we don't seem to have much of an issue," Chief William Bratton told KNBC-TV. Touche.
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