Check Out My Interview With Jonah Falcon!

I've never experienced the horror/joys/gag reflexes of bedding a man attached to a 13.5 inch penis.
In fact, most of my penis bedtime stories likely involve a member less then half that size, with a brain and spirit equal in half of what I'd prefer. It's an awesome life.

I write about The Dirty more then I actually do it, and was was given the assignment of interviewing this mammoth-sized fellow (street name: Jonah Falcon) after watching this Daily Show clip.

ENJOY!



Poor Jonah Falcon.

While it's true Falcon starred in a 1999 documentary Private Dicks: Men Exposed that started this media fascination with his nether regions and, yes, he's been profiled for Rolling Stone, Out (where he told the reporter he was bisexual) and numerous other media outlets all gaping in wonder at his genetic marvel, it was soon apparent the out-of-work 39-year-old has grown tired of being the media's dancing monkey.

What he really wants to do is get his acting career off the ground. Serious acting. Not the kind of work involving a pizza delivery boy and lubricant. Falcon has point-blankly declined pornography suggestions because he wants to be taken seriously and was reportedly a bit stung when overlooked for the role in HBO's new series Hung about a male escort with similar below-the-belt gifts.

Here it goes:
1.) Are you living at home still looking for acting work?
I moved back, partly because I am unemployed, and chiefly because I'm taking care of a sick family member. When I'm re-employed, we'll be hiring a healthcare professional.

2.) If you don't have an interest in doing porn, why talk about your penis size?
Just something that happened and steamrolled since 1999.

3.) Do all these media ventures help with your acting/blogging career?
They get hits, certainly.

4.) Is it true you consider yourself bisexual? If so, what are the differences in how men and women react to your size?
I don't discuss my sex habits. Men, straight and gay, tend to be more direct and eager to see it. Women tend to be more giggly about it.

5.) Any particularly rude/hilarious/flattering things lovers have said?
Just embarrassing names.
6.) Do you want to share any of these names?
No.

7.) Do you think it hurts/helps your love life?
Being unemployed hurts my love life. 

8.) Just ballpark figure, how many date offers did you get after your appearance on The Daily Show? More from men or women?
I always get date offers from gay men. Women tend to be more circumspect.

9.) What's the wackiest thing a gay man has ever said about it?
Comparisons to an elephant's trunk.

10.) When did you first notice you were, um, different then other guys? 
Baseball camp when I was 18. They just noticed the massive bulge, and compared with me.

11.) What are you looking for in a significant other?
My future wife will have similar interests. After years of sex, someone whom I can identify with is paramount. Geeky stuff. Sci-fi, writing, games, etc.

12.) And, finally, doesn't it ever get uncomfortable? Where do you buy condoms?
No. I use XL condoms, even though they only fit half. At least there's no fluid exchange.